Christian One-Liners

Funny or clever little bits of wisdom.  If you have any good one-liners of your own, send them to us.

1. Going to church doesn't qualify you as a child of God any more than sitting in your garage qualifies you as a car.
2. Don't let your worries get the best of you. Remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
3. Christian to atheist: "If I'm wrong, and you're right, I've got nothing to worry about, and I'll just live on in my blissful ignorance.  But if I'm right and you're wrong, you've got really big problems."
4. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited - until you try to sit in their pews.
5. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
6. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
7. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes and sand gnats come close.
8. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find that God lives there.
9. People are funny -- they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
10. Opportunity may only knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
11. Quit griping about your church; if it were perfect, you sure couldn't be there.
12. If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for and love the one it has.
13. God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
14. Some people are like concrete: thoroughly mixed up and permanently set -- they can be changed only by being broken.
15. I don't know why some people switch churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
16. A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
17. Believers are called by Christ to be witnesses, not lawyers, judges or "fruit inspectors."
18. "Be ye fishers of men." --  You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
19. Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
20. Don't wait for 6 strong men to carry you to church.
21. Forbidden fruits create many jams.
22. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
23. God grades on the cross, not the curve.
24. God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts"!
25. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
26. If God is your Copilot - swap seats!
27. Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
28. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
29. The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
30. We don't change the message, the message changes us.
31. The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.